Category: Journal

That might sound like a good thing, except it’s actually the date when I’ll retake the PhD Qualifier.

May 17-18 (a monday) is the day. I’ve got a wedding in Philadelphia the previous weekend (May 8).

Right. I’ve managed to get some studying done almost every sunday this year. I should be OK, right? Right?

On my way to campus yesterday (for a full day of heavy, exercised-related lifting; and intense, ground-breaking research), I got into an accident.

Not a big accident, mind you. It was really just a little fender bender. And, it wasn’t quite a fender bender. At least, my car was fine. The other guy’s car was also fine, except for a slightly dented front fender.

While I’m being specific, I might as well say it wasn’t quite on my way to campus. I was leaving my garage, when a car coming in from the street leapt out of nowhere. And, BAM. It wasn’t really a leap, either. See the above paragraph on the extent of the damage. OK, so, what really happened was, I saw him as I was pulling past the building (which was blocking my sight), hit the breaks, slid in the slush, hit his car.

Luckily, he was in no mood to call the cops and insurance and whatnot. He’s going to get me an estimate for the little dent in his fender, and we’re going to come to some kind of agreement.

So, it could’ve been much worse. The accident was injury-free, and the other party was a very agreeable man. Still, it could’ve not happened at all. Really, that would’ve been ideal.

I’ve tried blaming my lack of updates on any number of things:

• “writer’s block”
• comment spam
• the lunar calendar
• being “busy”

But then, my dinner presented me with more plausible reasoning. My dinner you say?

I got home today, and thought “hamburger helper!” This is partially because their cheesy enchilada is tasty, but mostly because there’s little else in my larder.

So, I pulled out the ground beef which I’d conveniently forgotten to defrost and stuck it in the microwave. After some random tidying up, the beef was defrosted, and it was time to pull out the hamburger helper box (I know, I’m a gourmet). Well, it wasn’t in the cupboard where I normally keep things like hamburger helper, cayenne pepper sauce, tea, etc.

It wasn’t there. Furthermore, I know I purchased it (just last week! along with some vegetables!). So, I looked around. Did I forget to put it away? Was it under the coffee table? Behind the tv? the futon? in the papasan? the hall closet? The cupboard again? The spice drawer? The dishwasher? The oven?

No.

I looked in the cupboard again. This time with the aid of my trusty step stool. Guess what? It wasn’t there.

I thought, “damnit.” I know it’s here. I looked under the futon again. in the papasan. the hall closet. The bathroom? my closet? under the bed? under the bathroom sink? in the toilet?

I kid you not. I looked in all those places. My box of cheesy enchilada-laden goodness was no where to be found. What to do? Should I order out? Pad thai sounded nice. Should I go to the store and buy some more? Put the ground beef back in the fridge?

No. I decided I should look in the cupboard again.

Guess what I found? The hamburger helper. The rest, I imagine, you can glean from the side of the box.

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with me not updating this blog (which, no doubt, looks different). Well, the hamburger helper was right in front of me, and I couldn’t see it. Often enough, I want to update, but can’t quite find the words; or something to write about. Often enough, both things are right in front of me, and I can’t see them.

Does this mean I’ve found the magic solution? Probably not. Does it mean I’ll keep updating regularly? For a while, probably. I find that a little change of scenery does me good.

I guess I should just apologize in advance for being a poor weblogger!

This is late. It is, unsurprisingly, also late.

It’s a new year now. It’s two thousand and five. It’s twenty-six years after I was born. It’s (less than) four years since September 2001. It’s (less than) one year since November 2004. It is, in fact, nine days since 1 January 2005. It is, precisely: nine days, three hours, and twenty-seven minutes past 1 January 2005.

I’ll say, right up front, that 2004 was absolute crap. I failed my Ph.D. qualifiers. I saw my father fall deathly ill (in september no less! I’ve learned to hate septembers, if nothing else). Most miraculously, I found romance; I found happiness. I can’t tell if it’s lasting, but it sure feels like it. In the midst of pure crap, I learned to dance like no-one’s watching. I learned to hug like I’ve found Santa. I’ve learned to kiss like there’s no tomorrow.

I’ll make the same resolutions I make every year: I’ll do work. I’ll make schedules. I’ll save humanity. I’ll save the world. This year, though, is different. I won’t do all that, but: I’ll save myself. I’ll do work. I’ll treat my friends and loved ones the way they should be the treated. I’ll update my blog regularly. I don’t think I’ll save the world this year. I won’t even save humanity! I’ll come one step closer, though. I’ll think globally, and act locally. I’ll take the bus. I’ll recycle. I’ll participate in fair trade.

I can’t say I’ll even do what I’ve said I will. I’ve made new year’s promises before. I’ve broken them. I’ve kept them. This year, though? I feel it. I feel ready. I feel in love. I feel like I can save the world and still have time for hot chocolate. Experience tells me that maybe I’ve only time for hot chocolate. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try though, right?