Church Says Girl’s Communion Not Valid

According to the Vatican, communion wafers must have some unleavened wheat in them. Many parishes interpret this to mean that a communion is not valid unless this rule is kept.

Of course when you have a little girl who can’t eat wheat because she could die, one might argue that an exception would be made. Of course, it’s not for the Bishop of New Jersey to, you know, make any kind of rational sense.

Now, in its defense, the entire diocese can’t be called “jackass.” When their “church’s pastor refused to allow a substitute, a priest at a nearby parish volunteered to offer one.” Luckily for the forces of stupidity, “the diocese told the priest that the church would not validate Haley’s sacrament because of the substitute wafer.”

This doesn’t make sense. Now, in some sense, Catholic dogma is often very important. It’s not really a religion unless you have your rules about what’s right and wrong – there should be some guidelines that allow people to become enlightened; ostensibly, the point of any religion. Wheat, however, cannot be construed as being a stepping stone on the path to greatness. Why? Because it’s wheat! JC transubstantiated bread into his own body, and wine into his own blood. As far as I know, there’s no record of him saying, “Right. Now, take notes y’all. The bread should contain unleavened wheat, and the wine? it should be red. And 15% alcohol by volume.”

The food groups are not important when taking communion. Communing with god is! How hard is this? Do I have to join the priest hood just so I can go around kicking ass and taking names? I could be a Jesuit. That sounds fun.

This is the silliest thing I’ve read all day. And, trust me, I’ve read a lot of silly things today. Apparently prayer cards (in which you give a small donation to the catholic church, and a prayer is said – typically for a loved one who has passed on) are being “outsourced” to India.

I can hear the priests crying out in anger now: “I could’ve used that five dollars to buy a big mac on my way to the hospital! Damn you, outsourcing! I’ll pray for your soul when you burn in hell!”

Or, you know. Not.

The NY Times article linked to quotes David Fleming, who apparently feels that “no aspect of life in the west is sacred.”

To which I say, “Bullocks. You need a hobby.”

The Vatican supports denying wayward politicians communion. Me saying, “I won’t attend church anymore” doesn’t mean much (I go to church rarely, and usually only when the mood strikes me).

What I will do is write two churches I’m likely to attend (one at home, and another by my parents) and inquire as to how they would respond. I will also (possibly depending on the response) refuse communion for the near (or long) term.

This does, quite possibly, make me not-so-much catholic – I’m not sure.

Clearly, what the church has done is within its rights. I even understand the angle (and general thrust of the document – which I have not read yet) – I just don’t agree with it. It’s also clear that not all diocese agree.

I’m not sure where I’ll go from here – I ran from the church, only to return years later, only to (seemingly) be driven away again. The Vatican is making it difficult to recall many of the good things the church has done.