Last October, George Essef took out a full page ad in the Washington Post detailing exactly what he is. What he is, he tells us, is a Republican. He spent $104, 655.60 to do so. While I don’t have $100,000, I do have a weblog.

Now, knowing what Mr. Essef stands for, I think it’s only fair to answer the same question: What am I?

I am someone who believes that the American Dream is a commitment to knowledge, equality, and morality.

I am someone who believes that God wouldn’t have given us eyes to see, and ears to listen, and minds to reason if not to use those faculties to the best of our abilities. I believe our pursuit of knowledge can only enable our society to do more and be more for its citizens. I am not someone who believes in ignoring science and knowledge simply because I don’t like what I hear.

I am someone who believes that equality means ensuring that everyone has the same chances. I believe in educating them, whether it be in math, civics, or the sexuality of their own bodies. I believe that education allows them to make informed decisions about their lives and communities, and equality, whether it be in marriage or in job opportunities causes people to be invested in those institutions.

I believe everyone has the right to vote, and that the disenfranchised need a voice.

I believe in more than a woman’s right to choose: I believe in her right to manage her own life. I believe she deserves all the rights and chances as a man. I don’t concede the moral high ground to the “pro-life” movement. Instead, I submit that in their rush to legislate less education and a narrowing of choices they increase abortions; they do the very thing they purport to be against. Instead, by providing education and support, I believe we can reduce abortions and strengthen families.

I believe in supporting all our people. While I admire Mr. Essef’s ability to pull himself up by his bootstraps, I also note that there are a multitude of Americans who toil at low wage jobs only to find that they can’t afford rent, or medicine, or school supplies at the end of the month. I believe it is our duty to help our fellow citizens, and an outrage that some people would dismantle the apparatus that would do so.

I am someone who pushes for environmental reform. I do so because I believe that we must be as stewards for our land. That we have dominion over bird and beast, plant and animal is naught but a responsibility to care for that land. I stand against those who dismiss our environment as something to take care of “later,” because our scientists tell us that “later” is actually to late.

While I celebrate the soldiers that defend my rights, I will not tolerate human abuse in the name of defense. I will not tread on the rights of the innocent or the guilty in the name of the Constitution. Our Armed Forces in general conduct themselves honorably; I rely on the press to inform me when they do not. I believe that the exercise of our rights is central to preserving those rights; why should the military defend our rights, if we never use them?

So, Mr. Essef, I know what you are, but, what am I? I am a liberal, a democrat, and someone who believes that we can do better for our families, our fellow citizens, our environment, and our world.

NPR Guest (responding to an e-mail to the show): “Mr. Zoom Junkie had an unfortunate experience.”

I can only imagine what would happen if they didn’t screen the names of e-mails read on-air.

I just finished Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell.

I’ve been looking forward to this book ever since Stanek pointed me at The Partly Cloudy Patriot.

In PCP, Vowell combined a quirky sense of humor, tourism, and history lessons to produce a funny, yet thought-provoking read. It’s the kind of book that makes you laugh at exactly how silly and strangely loveable the culture you grew up in can be.

Vowell continues that tradition in Assassination Vacation. She points out all the little silly, and often sad, bits of our history. As she talks, you don’t get the sense that she’s talking like your old history teacher; instead, you’re left with the impression that she’s a tourist and pilgrim.

In a way, she reminds me of a lot of people in Italy: One of the things that struck me about Italy was that completely random people knew lots of local history. And not only did they know it, they were eager to share it. They could expound on thousands of years of history, that happened right in the town where they live and work. Really, if there’s any single reason to read Assassination Vacation, it’s that it’s delightful to see someone so excited to know completely arcane trivia.

It’s been a busy week.

So far, I’ve gotten official notification that I’ve passed the qualifier (thanks for the comments!) and I’ve turned 26. That may not seem like a lot, but it sure feels like it.

I spent so much time studying for the qualifier, that it feels weird to not be pushing towards something. I mean, obviously, I have to do research, and maintain a lab, and any number of things.

So, in a way, I feel a bit lost. It’s almost like the sheer magnitude of what’s left is too much to comprehend. Either that, or I’m just interminably lazy.

Stanek hit me with the stick

You’re stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?

If I was a book, and I wanted to not get burned to a crisp, I’d probably be Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

God. Really, it’s too many to count. If I were to list a few, I’d say Colene from the Mode series by Piers Anthony, Eowyn from The Lord of the Rings, and Jane from Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card.

The last book you bought:

Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell. Becky introduced me to Sarah Vowell, and now I’m hopelessly addicted. Sometimes, I crave history. But, sometimes, I need it with a big dose of humor.

The last book you read:

Mistress of the Empire by Raymond Feist and Janny Wurts.

I needed something light to read when I got tired of studying, so I alternated between the Empire saga and The Myth Series by Robert Asprin. They’re both pretty light fantasy (though, the Myth series gets kind-of preachy near the end).

What are you currently reading?

Code and Other Laws of Cyberspace by Lawrence Lessig. I read one of his other books, The Future of Ideas a few months ago, and really liked it. Both books are about the growth of the internet and its effects on law and copyright.

Getting Things Done by David Allen. I’ve been looking for ways to be more productive. While, I don’t expect GTD to be some sort of silver bullet, I’m hoping that it will help me get a proper workflow going, and get rid of all those stacks of junk mail lying around my place.

Five Books to Take to a Desert Island:

  1. I’d take a history book. I started reading A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn a while ago, but it was too depressing to finish. I’d like a better grasp of world history, though, and can’t think of another book (or books).
  2. The Bible. I haven’t read it, and if I was on a desert isle, I think I’d get it finished.
  3. Life of Pi, by Yann Martel. I can’t quite explain the impact this book had on me: Martel’s imagery if India is powerful and provoking
  4. Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams. Adams has a funny way of making you love what he’s making you laugh at. In Last Chance to See, he does it with the planet Earth.
  5. the Norton Anthology of American Literature. Because, well, it’d give me a chance to catch up on a lot of great American Literature I’m always wanting to read.

Pick three people to pass the stick on to:

  1. Simmoril.
  2. Dawn.
  3. Duncan. Well, maybe when he gets back from Japan.

Unbeknownst to my loyal readers, I’ve recently been dividing my life into two epochs: B.Q. and A.Q.

I’ve passed through the time Before the Qualifier. I did a lot of studying, a lot of worrying, and lot of complaining. I may have recited the litany against fear, but only because I raced through the first 3 Dune books in my off minutes.

Now, I’m in the time After the Qualifier (hence, A.Q. funny, huh.). Looking back, I’m certain I did better than I did last year. I’m not willing to say, “I passed!” since that would just be jinxing myself. Now that it’s over, I’ve got a list of books the size of my head, a project or 3 wandering around my head, and a list of topics that bear writing about (even if they never see the light of day).

I’ve contacted Hollywood in case they wish to do a few major motion pictures based on my adventures. I’ve determined that BQ: The Department Kicks Ass and AQ: The Grad Student Strikes Back should both be directed by John Woo and Mel Brooks. Ideally, it would be produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. They have yet to return my calls, however.

While I’m waiting for John,Mel, and Jerry to call me back, I can put the books away (the text books), and work on my thesis (as soon as I get somewhere, which is slow going). I’ve also got a stick to work on, some organizing to do, and a stack of (non-text… well. they’ve got text. but, they’re not text books) books to read.

Some people might go to Disney world. Some people might get roaring drunk.

Some people aren’t me! (OK, well, I’m certainly the 2nd some people, but I’m other things to!)

What am I doing? I’m gonna donate blood!

After a less than pleasing experience with the red cross, I had resigned myself to never donating blood again.

Luckily, the irrepressible Dawnie (why “irrepressible?” I have no idea. I always thought it was a nice thing to say about someone and I was casting around for nice adjectives), I now know that I can give blood again! I’ve certainly spent less than 5 years in Europe over what’s essentially the course of my whole life.

Granted, I’ll drink, too. Just, you know, not in conjunction with the giving of blood!

Disney World? Well, maybe. But, having grown up 2 hours away from it loses it’s appeal.

Right. And now, back to your regularly scheduled program (which, in this case, is 0-1 integer programming).

I had an excellent weekend, but now I’ve a long week ahead of me. My qualifiers are in exactly 1 week.

Still, I had an excellent time at a wedding in Philadelphia. One of my oldest friends, Bryan, got married.

So, while I’d like to post many, many photos and give y’all a nice long entry, I’ll leave with a few pictures.

The bride and groom.

Crystal and I processing down the aisle.

Angela and I looking fabulous.

Bryan and I.

Eldan recently asked about reliable gun control statistics. I haven’t had the time to read these papers thoroughly, but I thought finding some research publications on the subject would be useful: